DogeCoin gave us permission to follow him around & record A Day In My Life, and we’d tell you for free — he’s determined to shock everybody in 2023! 🌚

In the meantime, here’s everything (+ everyone!) that’s stressing him & how he’s navigating bearish times. 

Scroll for the gist! 🕺🏼

(As narrated by Bitcoin)

1AM WAT: I cannot sleep. I’m wide awake, thinking. When will I grow in this my life? Since 2013 o. How long did it take my seniors to grow again please? Is it because they started me as play-play? God abeg, I’m serious with my destiny. Let my helpers not give up on me. 

9AM WAT: I don sleep. I don wake. I smell good. Enemies should run & hide their faces. I’m in a better mood — as long as the entire crypto market is bleeding right now, I shouldn’t feel too bad. Some of these other Altcoins aren’t even bothered! Let me not name names, but they sha need to become serious about their future like me.

11AM WAT: Some Altcoins don’t seem to know their mates anymore. See Shiba Inu of yesterday, shey? Because we’re related, omolomo wants to be feeling among. Ethereum was encouraging me during breakfast today about how he was once a proper Altcoin, and is now dragging shoulders with Bitcoin, and SHIBA was saying, “yes o, don’t worry Doge, we will get there too” — who is we? Abeg!

2PM WAT: I’m about to take my afternoon nap before I kill myself with worry, but I’m feeling very betrayed. I just remembered that the person who should be my biggest supporter — Uncle Musk, who called me “people’s choice” — allowed investors help him purchase his app with Bitcoin? And not me? Wow. This life? Trust no man. Just run your own race jeje. Na wa. 

7pm WAT: My babe was asking what I want for Christmas & New Year. I want to pepper my enemies. To skyrocket on the market charts! To crush everyone else, so they know this ‘meme coin’ isn’t here to joke around. I don’t know why she kept looking at me weirdly, but that’s what is at the top of my prayer list for 31st night. Na me go reach church first this year. 

11pm WAT: The Crypto market has been mostly green today, and I’ve made my holders happy! See everybody shining teeth everywhere. Even people that used to gossip about me are now considering buying my market. See this life? Some of them don see shege with Bitcoin, but most of them no fit afford Bitcoin! At least, if you cannot go to Dubai, you’d manage Benin Republic, right? Anyways, cheers to more bullish days. We go again tomorrow! 

The End.

Writer | Creative | A little obsessed with spinning stories.