“I-Just-Got-Back people are in town o, hide your babe o!” 

We’ve all heard this talk, abi? 

Well, wahala for who get babe. Some of us don’t have to worry about that this December 👀. 

For people like me, it’s money we’re worried about. Or rather, it’s money I was worried about.

Let me rewind.

This time two weeks ago, I was wondering how Christmas came so fast o, while looking at my bank account  and contemplating sitting indoors for the rest of this month, because na who get money dey do #DettyDecember, and my rent is due December 30th. 

But later that evening, I got a +44 caller 📞 . 

It was Larry, a cousin I went to school with but hadn’t heard much from since he Japa’d.

Larry was coming to Nigeria in two days, and he didn’t have a lot of friends left here, but he was looking forward to seeing me & a few people from school. 

We used to be really tight, so catching up over the phone was very easy. I started to look forward to his arrival. And flexing with an IJGB? Money no go be problem! 

True to his word, he was in Nigeria by Saturday morning 🧳.

I picked Larry from the airport, and we went to his hotel. I remember him talking about how much of a struggle it was to change his Pounds to Naira, and how he didn’t have a lot of Naira on him yet, but I didn’t pay much attention then. 

Not until five days later, after we’d finished spending money like rich kids from one Lagos hotspot to another (well technically, he had been picking all the bills, but you sha get my point). 

That day, while at Quilox, my cousin went; “Mike, can I get Naira from you? I’ve exhausted what I have. I don’t know how much I’d be needing yet, but I’d send everything back right before I travel to the North to see my mom. I just don’t have time to be changing money right now.” 

I remember being sceptical 🧐.

All I had was my rent money. About 1.2 million and small change. And I’d already assumed he was going to refund by sending Pounds to my domiciliary account.

What if it didn’t come in on time?

 Or withdrawing became stressful? 

I didn’t ask him this o. I didn’t want to come off as untrusting. 

Last last, I will call family meeting on his head if my money doesn’t come on time, abi?

I took the risk and moved my rent money. And boy — we’ve had the time of our lives in the last couple of days 🍾 . 

Just yesterday, he was set to travel to Kano, and I remember waking up worried. 

In total, I’d sent him 950k. I needed to remind him that it was my rent money. When I got to the hotel that morning to help him pack, he noticed I was pretty quiet. 

“Yo, you good?” He asked.

I was about to form, but mehn, we had gotten too close in the last couple of days for that. 

“I just want to be sure that you’d be sending the 950k this week bro. My rent is due in like a week, and I know sending foreign currency into a Nigerian dorm account can take a while sometime…”

“Foreign currency? No o. When I can just move some Crypto to you, and you can change it to Naira in minutes?” he replied.

“How?” I asked. I had a few friends who were into Crypto, but I knew nothing about it 🙃. 

“You don’t use Breet? Lemme show you. I’d even send it now. 950k, shey?” 

I nodded, still clueless. 

He downloaded the Breet app on my iPhone and just like that, I had my account & a Bitcoin wallet! 

Then he asked that I text him my wallet details. 

“Sent. I turned on your Automatic Settlement by the way, so you’d get it straight to your Naira account.” Larry said. 

I heard my phone beep that minute.

Two million! This man more than doubled what I sent him. And yet, look how fast that was 🤯!

#DettyDecember don set. 

And God punish ignorance sha, because how did I not know converting Crypto to Cash with Breet was the way?! 

It’s about to be a very Merry Christmas for me o 🕺🏽! 

Writer | Creative | A little obsessed with spinning stories.